#not to say that decision was completely logical or ok cause it wasn't
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neodiekido · 1 month ago
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this isn't as big of a thing now as it was in like 2018 but it's funny how the main fanon consensus on maki "i hate killing people and i hate myself for killing people" harukawa was "she LOVES death threats and knives!" even in like, non despair aus
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ashthemadwriter-archived · 1 year ago
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Baby Boy Darling!
—Your boyfriend turning into a little baby? What are you going to do with him?
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairings: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor, Nikolai, Ranpo, Jouno X Fem! Reader
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Format: Drabble
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.8K
A/n: Mildly rushed but acceptable ig!
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↳Osamu Dazai
"You know... I don't think this is a good choice for a bedtime story"
The little infant in your arms looked at you curiously. He wasn't old enough to make any sounds other than crying, but the martyred expression he was wearing and his firm grip on your thumb displayed his intention with no complicacy. Nevertheless, that didn't stop you from putting the suicide manual on the nightstand.
"Now now, don't look at me like that. I'm a good babysitter, and a good babysitter doesn't teach babies ways to kill themselves"
You gently caressed his puffy cheeks. "I'm also a generous babysitter, which is why I don't slap your hand away when you grab my boobs"
His gaze fell on his small chubby hand that was trying to get a hold of your breast. It was a good thing you had a T-shirt on, or with the way he was trying to cup them they would've been bleeding by now.
"I'm sorry honey, I don't think you can hold them anymore. Your hands are just too tiny!"
He whined and pouted in response.
"I know! I'm sad too. C'mon, smile a little for me will you? Smile for your mommy"
If he was still an adult, he would have rolled his eyes and smiled, but he wasn't. He was just a cranky baby who was probably planning your murder in his cute little head.
"Get it? Mommy? I'm your mommy! God you didn't have a sense of humor when you were a child did you? I miss my kind, loving boyfriend"
He looked at you unfazedly.
"Alright, how about I sing you a song? Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you aaaaaaaa— ah!?"
Dazed, you looked down at your baby boyfriend with widened eyes, only to find him staring back at you while his mouth was on your right breast. He was trying to suck on it, but that wasn't easy when it was covered with two layers of clothes, your bra and your T-shirt. Your eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Wow, you still like the right one better?"
↳Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"So this is the power imbalance they were talking about huh?"
The violet eyed infant stares at you blankly, having a "it won't be this way for long" look in his eyes. You're holding him in front of you while sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the cheekiest grin you could ever wear.
"No wonder you were so crazy about it. Having somebody wrapped around your finger... feels awesome!"
Still the same bored look.
"giving me the cold shoulder now? I'm just using simple logic to prove my point-which is also what you used to do. I'm saying that from this moment, you're totally and completely dependant on me"
Fyodor tilts his head to the side and gives you a weird look, tempting you to imitate his gesture. A strong feeling is causing you to brag about the current situation and tease him, and you're willingly giving into it.
"Alright. Since I'm the one in charge now, I'm setting a few ground rules. No more acting all workaholicly and staying up until late. No more skipping meals, mister. Im gonna feed you with my special milk, hehehe~ Also, I've got some confessions to make"
It's probably a bad decision to bring these up right now, but you're too captured in the heat of the moment to realize that.
"Ok. I've been trying to tell you this for quite a while. The truth is... I'm pregnant"
The unfazed look is still on.
"Yeah, that was a lie. The real truth is... I was the one who ate all your snacks"
Still no change in his expression.
"...But I assume you already know that. Ugh, keeping secrets from you is such a pain... could you not figure me out for just once?"
Fyodor doesn't seem very eager to respond. He's already very annoyed with how things have turned out and is not really in the mood to joke around. You come to that conclusion when he touches your forearm with his chubby little hand.
"You're gonna activate your ability and kill me, aren't you?"
↳Nikolai Gogol
"Quiz time!!"
Your baby boyfriend whines in annoyance.
"Who's gonna get paid one in his own coin and suffer like I did every time he teased me?"
You flash him a cocky smirk, matched with the way you're looking at him from above as he's lying on the bed. You're standing next to the bed, happier than you could ever be, planning all the steps of your revenge as you trash talk to him.
"That's right. It's no one but youuuuu! Hahahahaha!!"
Nikolai wants to prove to you that he's still strong and nobody can defeat him, but he realizes there's noway he can imply that other by a sulky attitude, which he reluctantly suffices to.
You hold his favorite snack in front of him and shake it, smiling wildly. "Come on darling! Have some! Eh? What are you waiting for? Awwwww! You can't? Then I'll help myself!"
You shoved the entire thing in your mouth and laughed hysterically.
"Nom nom* tastes nom* heavenly! No wonder you never let me have a bite!"
Nikolai is starting to feel a little guilty now. He didn't know that his teasings have made you a spiteful whore.
"You hate babies so much, and now you are one! That's the scariest punishment itself! Can you feel the power of karma? It's a bitch, ain't it? Well, now that you can't talk anymore, I have something to say to you!"
You bend over until there's a small gap between you, pointing at his tiny figure. The bullying attitude is all gone and instead, there's soft glare lying in your eyes.
"I want one of these. Give me one when you get back, Kolya"
You're wrong. This is the scariest punishment.
↳Saigiku Jouno
"Thank you for the meal!"
Jouno is upset. There are many unfortunate things happening for him at the moment. He doesn't like to be a baby. He doesn't want to be unable to do anything other than crying, pooping, eating and sleeping. More importantly, he doesn't want to feel your teeth on his cheeks.
"Mhm, so soft and squishy!" You smile sweetly and look at his puffy cheeks, stained with your bite marks in crimson. "I could just eat you up now, 'giku. You taste so sweet!"
Anyone who hears this would be happy and blush slightly, but Jouno wasn't one of them, as he tilts his head and looks away, having the most adorable pout on his lips.
Grumpy as always.
"C'mon now, it's not that bad! Look on the bright side! Everyone will have to do everything for you since you can't do it yourself"
Jouno tilts his head back, his eyebrows jumped in surprise.
"Right, that wasn't a really good example of the bright side"
Sighing, you lay next to him on the matress, hands traveling through his white locks. His muscles relax a little bit as he gives into your warmth, nuzzling his head in your chest. You hum with a soft beam, inhaling his baby scent.
"You smell very nicely too, 'giku. Don't be too depressed about this. It's not the end of the world. We'll find a way to turn you back eventually. Plus..."
You lightly pat his back, pressing a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I can have you all to myself, since you can't go on any missions and leave me here all alone anymore"
Yeah, Jouno thinks, maybe it's not that awful after all.
↳Ranpo Adogawa
"Ouch! Why you- let go of my hair you aggressive baby!"
Ranpo cries a whine out and pulls your hair harder, leading you to scream back even louder.
"Stop it! What is wrong with you? I dont care how upset you are, I'm not gonna give you any sweets- ow ow ow!! Ranpo- I said let go of my fucking hair you dumbass!"
Your angry shout startles the dark haired baby. It's not just that he's little, you'd never talked like this to him before. Slowly loosening his grip on your hair, he starts sobbing quietly, covering his face with his chubby hands. This breaks your heart.
"Nooo... I'm sorry sweetie! Mommy- Aunty- god I dont even know what I am to you anymore! Whatever- I'm sorry ok? But you can't eat sweets baby boy, you're smart enough to know that, right?"
Smart enough to know that?? Huh!
Ranpo sees right through your little plan. He knows all these little tricks inside out- hell he was the one who taught you all of them; but what pisses him off is how it's working on him even though he knows your true intention.
The smirk you've been holding back shamelessly appears on your face when he wears a serious expression, nodding like someone who's given an important task and is determined to do it carefully and correctly, then points at your boobs.
Your smile instantly fades away.
"Shit. I'm not doing that"
↳Chuuya Nakahara
"Your struggle is hilarious to me"
Baby Chuuya watched you with a threatening glare. He was clearly unhappy about this situation, and you enjoying his frustration was not going to help him at all.
"I know you really need it right now, but honestly, I don't think your little tummy can digest that"
Merely ignoring you, he tried to open the bottle of wine he was struggling to hold with his chubby feet; but every time he pulled, the bottle would slip out of his not so tight grasp. He couldn't use his ability on it, since the bottle would sink into his little body. He couldn't even roll over on the bed, and his so called nanny was laughing instead of helping him.
Forget about all the things he'd been through. This was the true misery.
"Alright. Give me the bottle"
He didn't seem to agree, because he immediately hugged the bottle with all the strength he had, like it was his dearest thing. Your serious expression showed that you weren't going to give up either.
"You give me that bottle mister or you won't get extra milk tonight"
Reluctantly, he opened his arms and you snatched the bottle, putting it somewhere high. When you turned around, you saw him sulking.
"Don't be like that baby, you know you can't drink that right now. I thought you were a reasonable person hmm?"
The cute pout resting on his lips made you giggle and bend down to kiss his cheek. He was still pretty upset, so he looked away from you. Unfortunately, he couldn't do anything about the little blush on his face.
You carefully held him up and looked at his tiny figure. His long hair was gone and instead, there were short ginger locks on his head. His bluebell eyes however, hadn't changed one bit, still as gorgeous as ever.
You smiled at him. "You want me to throw you up?"
He looked oblivious. He probably knew what you were talking about, but hadn't figured out whether you were serious or not.
Shaking your head to the side, you tightened your grip on his waist before throwing him up in the air, and catching him before he fell on the ground. He got so excited that he started laughing, letting out adorable baby noises.
"Aww, you like that huh? want me to do it again?"
He blinked.
"Ok! Three, two, one! Whoa!"
Chuuya had jumped higher than this before, but not once did he feel the thrill he was experiencing now. He was having the time of his life, flying in the air with no effort. Every time you threw him up, his mouth got opened wider, wider, and wider,
until vomit came out of it, landing on your chest.
There weren't any throwing and catching after that, since you were too busy looking at the vomit, shocked. But it wasn't him vomiting that caught you off guard, it was the vomit. It wasn't milk, it was wine.
"Ok, we need to talk about your drinking problem when you turn back to an adult"
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child-of-the-danube · 2 months ago
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Right, it's time to go absolutely bonkers with theories. This whole episode has to be one of Lilia's visions (or Teen controlling them subconsciously) because everything was off about it.
- First Lilia wakes up knowing that the Salem Seven are there. As much as we know, Lilia is rarely ever able to so directly read her visions/premonitios, she usually just blurts them out in a nonsensical order and doesn't remember doing so, but this time she was completely sure.
- Jen was strangely VERY antagonistic towards Agatha from the start of the episode. They aren't really the best of friends but this was different. The way she shut down Rio for defending Agatha. Then "tell us more" when Agatha mentioned selflessness with the brooms.
- Alice then suggests that they have to get off of the road which was thing no.1 Agatha told them not to do and they saw the road swallowing Sharon at the start of episode 3 for straying off the path. Which later it does to all of them again, which makes me think this wasn't a real/the correct trial at all. The moment they hopped on the brooms they fucked up and the road was punishing all of them just to swallow them in the end.
- Also the road forces them down. They're falling and the world is inverted. What if the road swallowing them wasn't just Teen's doing but actually the road taking them to the proper trial which is Lilia's. We saw in the snippets hinting to Lilia's trial that there's a floating and falling down scene but the people around Lilia aren't the coven. It's the Salem Seven. Maybe that's how they get back up as later on in the snippets there's a scene of Agatha fully covered in mud speaking to Teen so they clawed their way back up.
EDIT 1: YO NEVER FUCKING MIND THIS. In the scene where Agatha is covered in mud talking to Teen, the road is still yellow so they probably clawed out BEFORE Lilia's trial
- The door of the trial house is plain wood. All of the doors before had the Moon phase fitting to the person who's trial it is ON THE DOOR. But this time they see the Blood Moon through a window. In the episodes before, the outside of the house they were in wasn't real. Also, Alice's Moon was a Waxing Crescent. By all means, the following Moon phase should have been the First Quarter (when obstacles start to rise and decisions need to be made - obstacle being Teen knowing who he is now), not a Full (Blood) Moon cause the Full Moon comes after a Waxing Gibbous. And the Moon was the colour close to Wanda's look and crown.
- Also why would the main character's trial be in the middle of the show? Makes no narrative sense. And Agatha's biggest trauma isn't her mother and the coven, even if it was very significant to her becoming who she is, it's her son. Her trial would be Nick focused. A cabin in the woods, the 80s look, Ouija board etc. are all very much staples of teen focused horrors. Besides why on Earth would Agatha's trial make Teen get his powers? The trial ends with Teen speaking Nick's name and Agatha telling Teen he's so much like his mom. Lilia even tells him to pray to the Divine Mother at the start of the episode when they hop on their brooms. Him getting his powers means his sigil is broken. He remembers who he is, who his mother is and now Agatha knows too. This was 1000% percent his trial nobody can convince me otherwise
- Lilia asks what's on the back of the pamphlet and it says "for ages 3 and up" so again alluding to kids, which Teen is the only one of there.
- They're all dressed as campers beside Lilia. She looks like a camp counsellor or a mom that went to see her kids there. Which, ok, she is the oldest, but not that significantly older than Agatha. In the trials before, she always matched the others perfectly, this time she doesn't. Why?
- Lilia accidentally lets go of the Ouija board thingy, which Teen said not to do under any circumstances but nothing happened to her. By road logic, shouldn't she have been the one possessed or hurt? Actually, nothing happens to her for almost the entire episode (and Rio, but that we know why). Agatha gets possessed, Teen is attacked by both one of the Salem Seven and possessed Agatha, Agatha almost kills Jen and Alice dies. Lilia is at no moment in true danger nor does she intervene. She's practically just a spectator.
- Then the board says Death is with them which shouldn't be a shock. Agatha knows who Rio is and they all know by song that walking the road means holding Death's hand. Lilia is constantly bringing up death. Why would it single Rio out when the rest of the trial didn't have anything to do with her and Agatha's bond or trauma?
- When the board freaks out and the screams begin, Lilia says she hated this the first time. What time? There were no spirits screaming from beyond the veil before unless we count her hearing the pictures in Alice's episode but I'd say that was just her memories as she was the only one hearing it. Now everyone hears it. And Teen says that Lilia is being weird again. I might be reading to much into it, but the screams kind of have the echo a tubular space, like a tower, would perhaps make. On the Tower card we see a blue crown at the top. I believe Teen (and Rio whom we didn't see getting swallowed by the earth end of episode as she was probably guiding Alice to the other side) are sitting Lilia's trial out next episode and it's gonna be Agatha, Lilia and Jen trying to get back to them.
EDIT 2: This one I still somewhat stand on, except the crawling back part, cause in the trailer we only see Lilia with Agatha and Jen dressed like Wizard of Oz/Wicked characters + the Salem Seven, but no Teen and Rio.
- Ok, Agatha is possessed and kind of out this episode but I'll still point out that when Evanora appears, it's Lilia asking the questions and standing in the middle protecting the coven. She works as an almost narrator this episode.
- When Alice tries to save Agatha, Lilia says "Knight of Wands" which one of the meanings is caution against hasty decisions such as Alice blasting Agatha knowing that's how she takes power.
- The door out of the trial opens upwards which it didn't do before. Both Jen and Alice's trial had them go down a door as the road seems to be a descent into further hardship/hell metaphor. The only door it would make sense to go upwards is the end of the road.
- The road turns yellow when they get back so Lilia's trial is next
EDIT 3: I just realized that Lilia repeats "punish Agatha" she looks right at Teen, not at Evanora. She could feel something was off AAAAAA
I'm begging people to discuss this with me. Give me your theories, the things I might have missed or ignored. Cause I'm going nuts about this episode
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sonicasura · 4 months ago
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Concept Of The Hatching Second Chances Idea
It had been a rough day Kafka, the 22 uear old just couldn't catch a break. First thing that happens when he wakes up he stubs his toe, at work he slips and drops his lunch, then he get's intestine duty ( he suposes he should be grateful he didn't eat lunch) and then to top it all of his Moped's engine stalled on him and gave out meaning he have to go to the mechanic. This left the down trotten 22 year old to walk home on foot.
Kafka: Man, nothing went right today, it seems it's just one of those days. I hope tomorrow will be better and have 100% less intestine duty.
This definitely wasn't Kafka Hibino's finest moment. That combined with his recent failure at the Defense Force exams didn't help either with his mood. Simply sighing and countinuing his trek back to his were he hopefully could just lie down and eat ramen to forget his woes. Turning the corner of the street something odd caught his eye. Something white and shiny peaking out of the alley way. Curiousity got the best of him and soon he stood in front of the alleyway were he was met with a pretty big egg.
Kakfa: Huh?!?! Is this a Kaiju egg?! Crap I better call the Def-
* CCCRRAAACCKKK*
kafka's sentence was cut off by the loud cracking of the egg, signifiying what ever was in there was getting ready to hatch.
Naturally Kafka remained calm and colle- nah you all know he was freaking out.
Kakfa: OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, IT'S HATCHING!!! I gotta hide and call the Defen-
Once again Kafka got cut off, this time by a bright light which seconds later dyed down revealing watch hatched. The Kaiju was the size of a full grown cat, completely green, and sported some insectoid and draconic traits, it had 3 eyes on it's head and little nubs were it's horns would be, though the most eye catching thing was the second face on it's stomach which had two eyes and a bird like beak.
Kafka had now gone to uber levels of panic, so much so that he didn't notice that the little monster was now waddling like a baby duck towards him. This caused Kafka to notice at the last second and trip over himself, were he then craqled backwards until he hit the alley wall.
Kafka had never been this up close to an alive Kaiju and it honestly terrified him, it didn't matter that it was a baby, all Kaiju did was cause death and destruction nothing el-
He felt a tug on his pants legs, this snapped his focus back too the baby Kaiju who tugged on his pants leg again, until they noticed they had gotten Kafka's attention. This is when they did something that shocked Kafka, they put there claws up and started scrunching there fists in the same way a baby would want to be picked up.
Di-Did the baby Kaiju see them as their parent?
Scrambling back to his feet Kafka began to ramble.
Kafka: Gah, listen I ain't your mom, and I am no Kaiju either ok, so uhhh ohh! * Brings out phone* I'm just gonna call the Defense Force and they'll take....care.....of.....you...
The words started to fizzle out as Kafka comprehended what he just said. The Defense Force wouldn't just release them into the wild, they would...kill them.
Something about that... just didn't feel right.... no what was he saying it's a Kaiju, a creature that raze cities within an hour, the creatures he was going to be killing in the future. Ya, they were just a Kaiju, he just had to look down and oh ohhhh no that was a mistake.
The tiny green Kaiju countinued to innocently look at him with all five eyes, still holding there claws up and there bird like mouth began chirping.
He... He....He...He couldn't call the Defense Force, knowing that the small baby monster would be killed on the spot. Though what was he supposed to do, it's not like he could.... raise them.
Could Kafka raise a Kaiju?
Looking down again he saw the monster still waiting to be picked up and that's when he made a decision completely devoid of logic.
He picked up the baby Kaiju
Kafka even after years passed couldn't explain why it felt right holding the baby monster in his arms, but that night he felt like a missing puzzle piece snapped into place and he walked home with the baby Kaiju intow.
The worst day just turned into the best day of his life.
Hope you enjoyed
Post in question.
Congrats Kafka, you are now a dad to one of the most unconventional children ever! He definitely doesn't regret it though even when Psaro accidentally freezes his blanket a few times thanks to nightmares. This is his kid no matter what.
Kafka will continue to say that even at the risk of having to answer the Defense Force in an interrogation cell.
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luckyladylily · 9 months ago
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Ok like, you are not completely wrong, but honestly I don't care about 40k lore enough to try to correct you. It's stupid, has been poorly handled for decades, and generally hits it's high with the existence of chainsaw swords. But that's not what I consider the critical point. Why are we not allowed to entertain a what if scenario? Why is that "bad satire"?
What ultimately gets me about this particular criticism that is often leveled at any depiction of fascism has ever said is what if the core belief were true? Lets say that this statement was objectively true:
there is an endless horde of aliens at our border, who have infiltrated our society and are manipulating worker movements to help them break past our borders, and if they get in they will raze everything weve built to the ground
If these conditions did exist, would fascism be morally justified and effective?
The answer is, of course, no. Fascism would be shitty, inefficient, and immoral under any conditions. But by saying we can't explore that idea you have conceded the point. You may not think you have, but you did.
One of the main reasons people turn to fascism is fear. This should not be a surprise to anyone. And fear isn't a logical emotion, especially under these conditions. You will never win the argument against fear solely by insisting "nuh-uh, the boogie man doesn't exist." Not even if evidence is on your side. Because fear isn't merely about what is. We are not just afraid when there is a tiger in that bush over there, we are afraid when there could be a tiger, or that there might be a tiger in the future.
The dry, logical insistence that the bad thing does not currently exist will never be as compelling as the narrative of fear that it could exist, now or in the future, to a certain portion of the population.
The truth is fascism isn't just wrong, it's also ineffective. It's not a good way to achieve anything. Even if the enemy were constantly at the gate, fascism does a shitty job of securing the gate. We know this. It's well documented. The biggest drag on the Nazi war machine was they were fascists. It caused innumerable problems related to corruption, inefficiency, and ideologically driven decision making.
Why not attack the ideology from every angle? Why give them this victory when it is so fundamental to the appeal of fascism?
Now 40k is not great satire. I think there are a lot of criticisms that can be leveled against it. But this criticism is just weird because this might be the one thing where 40k is most consistently critical of fascism. Enemies are at the gate, and the Empire sucks at dealing with it. They are astoundingly inefficient and idiotic in their military. Mundane corruption is rampant and consistently as bad or worse than the external threats. The issue of insidious infiltrators is made a thousand times worse by the iron grip of the Imperium driving people to desperation and dissidence. And even the favored citizens of the Imperium are depicted as living lives little better than slaves. The Imperium is a husk of a civilization practically devoid of cultural value.
The ideological root of fascism is based in the idea of fundamental superiority on several levels - an idea that is not true. Despite the common sentiment that people chose the Nazis because they "made the trains run on time", they were actually unable to make the trains run on time. It's a shitty system run by shitty people based on shitty ideas and it does not work.
But so many progressives center their anti fascism on the idea that we don't need fascism because there is no enemy at the gate (or perhaps some other justification isn't true), which is an argument so much weaker it would be hilarious if it wasn't pathetic. It's a necessary point, but on it's own it is ineffective and unconvincing.
The idea that fascism is ineffective is just as valid a criticism (and therefore a valid angle for satire) as the idea that it's justifications are untrue - perhaps even more so, because it attacks fascism at it's ideological root. So sure, criticize the execution of that satire and even the dedication to the message, that's fair, but you've identified the exact one thing that *isn't* wrong with it and made that the crux of your complaint.
warhammer 40k loves to call itself a satire of fascism and then depicts a universe in which all of the great fascistic anxieties and beliefs of its imperium (the enemy is everywhere, it is both weak and strong, we are eternal, any violence we commit is justified, our leader is our genetic superior, degeneracy will lead to the collapse of our society) are all objectively true, completely blunting any satirical edge it could have, but giving it just enough plausible deniability that games workshop can market to anyone of any ideology
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munsonenthisiast · 4 years ago
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Then & Forever
A/N: I wrote this in like five days and had my bestie edit. This is my first time writing anything, but I love Josh so-
Summary: Since you started working for GVF, you and Josh had grown close to each other over the years. This time you hope your feelings don't get in the way of ruining everything you built.
Contains: Smut, drinking, smoking, cursing
WC: 10.9k
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"So you're saying that. . . you've never played an instrument before?" Sam pointed at his bass. You laughed at the question, sipping your beer. "Correct." Sam furrowed his face in confusion. "Then why do you have a degree IN music if you can't play?" Josh hit Sam on the shoulder with a pencil making a small face. You shrugged your shoulders, swishing the alcohol around your mouth. "I don't know, It's just something I've never wanted to do, you know. I guess it's one thing knowing about an instrument rather than playing it."
Everyone nodded in agreement. "Well, if you did play anything I'm sure you'd be really good at it." Josh smiled towards you. He went back to writing in his journal while everyone else went back to respectively playing their own instruments.
But for you, it seemed a long way home. Never did it cross your mind that you would basically be living with four different people from time to time. Especially not so quickly. Greta Van Fleet was your first job, and really, first anything. From high school until now, you were alone. Which made you a little grumpy when working with people, but none the less you warmed up to them quickly. Especially Josh, who always seemed attached to the hip with you.
Josh may have annoyed you a tiny bit at first, but his euphoric mind is what intrigued you in the first place. He always seemed so wise, knowing the right answer to everything. And the way he wrote the lyrics to songs, just naturally appeared to him somehow. It was truly magic.
Jake smacked you on the arm, calling for your attention. "Ok, what do you think of this." He pulled the guitar over his lap, playing the notes he came up with. You quickly wrote down the notes he played, looking out for any correction. "So what do you think?" He asked, flailing his arms around. Running your pencil down the piece of paper, you started to shake your head. "I think it sounds pretty good," you said looking at Josh, who also nodded his head in compliance. "What would also sound cool is if you gave it a little vibrato during a live show."
Jake smiled writing the commentary down on a sticky note. "You know, for not knowing how to play, you really are smart with this kind of stuff." You glared your eyes at him, snickering just a little bit. Everyone worked for a couple of more hours, before calling it a night. Danny and Sam were practically sleeping on each other.
You shook Sam awake, snatching his car keys from his hand. "We'll both be dead if you drive, and were the most important in the band. Well, besides Danny. And Jake. And Josh." You twirled the keys around your finger while Sam stretched to get awake. Josh flipped all the pages over in his journal, turning to you. "We got pretty far today, don't you think?" Josh smiled at his brothers, who were already arguing about something. "Yeah. Maybe we'll get better stuff done tomorrow, you know. This is supposed to be the 'fun' part," you said using air quotations, "but the most boring part out of everything. But maybe, in the end, it'll all be worth it." you hit Josh's arm softly.
"Are you going with Sam?" you nodded quickly. "Yeah, I kind of promised him I would help him with some stuff in the morning." Josh looked sadder than ever. You smiled at Josh, noticing Sam waiting by the door with Jake and Danny. "I'll see you later." You gave Josh a quick kiss on the head.
"Let's go." you wiggled a finger at Sam, practically dragging him to the car. The ride to Sam's house was fairly quiet other than the little snores coming from him. It was nice to get a moment or two of peace to yourself. Working and living with four grown men gave no room for privacy. Everything is shared between you all. Which you had to admit, scared you a little at first because you've always grown up with a sister and maybe a few girlfriends here and there; but you were never as close to them, then as you were to the band.
The house was quiet when you walked in, dark and dim from the night sky. Sam immediately walked to his bedroom, and passed out on his bed. Which left you alone in the kitchen. Putting some of the items away in cabinets, you looked around at all the brothers' family photos, including some of Danny. It made you smile to yourself to see some of them so young and happy. Maybe a little vulnerable too. You were a little envious of how confident some of them had been with their work, just being able to put themselves out there, accepting failure. Not you though. Failure made you angry, furious even. Sometimes it got so bad, you'd hide away for days without any contact with the outside world.
After putting all the trash away, you headed back to the spare room. You turned on all the lights, changing into some warmer clothing. Crawling under the sheets, sleep came easy that night.
-
When you woke up, the blinds had been left the night before causing you to shoot out of bed. Quickly rubbing your eyes, you went to the bathroom to clean up a bit. When you walked towards the kitchen, your feet padded beneath you. Sam still wasn't up, which was pretty normal. You started some coffee and cooked breakfast for the two of you. Though, something triggered you to open a forbidden drawer and bum a cigarette. Quickly lighting it, you messed around with food until it was cooked.
"A cigarette at 8 in the morning?" Sam questioned groggily, clad in just sweatpants. "Well, you know me; I only smoke when I'm forgetting something." You both said in unison. You quickly waved him off, pouring food onto a plate for both of you. "I wonder WHO you're forgetting." You scrunched your face, looking around the room. "What do you mean who?" Sam scoffed. "Josh," You quickly rolled your eyes, slamming the plate down on the table "Eat the fucking food you loser." You both contently ate in peace while making some playful banter here and there. "So what exactly do you need help with?" Sam pulled out a cigarette from the cartridge, silently lighting.
"I need help with a decision." Sam stared at you while you nodded your in question, pretending like you at least understood what he was talking about. "Look, I just want you to go with me to buy another bass, ok. And I want to go to the record store." Narrowing your eyes, you pulled the cigarette from him. "I feel like this is something completely different than what you're telling me." Sam shook his head slowly. "Nope. I still want to keep the mint-colored bass, but I just want to have a cool collection, you know. Oh, let's buy something expensive!" He pointed the smoke at you, while you collected the dishes to put in the sink. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, please. We can not go broke. Not like last time." You shuddered at the thought.
"Thanks for the food. I'm gonna get ready." You flinched your eyebrows and kept washing the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. You quickly went back to the room for a change of clothes. By the time you were done, Sam was waiting at the door for you. Grabbing your coat and your shoes, you both headed out the door. Sam was walking coolly beside you, as you both looked around the town. Shops were lining down the small street, with cars passing through. He put his arm around your shoulder as you both passed through large crowds. Finally finding the music shop, you both walked in, heading to a certain section.
"So remind me," He paused to look at a sleek grey bass, flipping it over a couple of times. "Why don't you ever get with Josh? I mean he obviously likes you." You scoffed a little bit at his statement. "I thought we were here for you Sam, not to talk about me." You picked up a dark wood bass, showing it to Sam. "I mean with that same logic why don't I ever get with you? I mean we're close, right?" He rolled his eyes, still playing with the instrument you showed him.
"I think I like this one." Sam brought it up to the counter, talking to the girl up front. Who seemed to really enjoy the conversation they were having. Turning on your heel, you waited by the door playing with some random drum sticks. Sam eventually walked over and led you out. "It'll be delivered in a couple of weeks. I bought a whole new one." You pursed your lips smiling at Sam. "Did you also manage to snag that poor girl's number?"
Sam pushed you upside the head as you walked into the record store. You both parted ways looking at different sections. You flipped through vintage albums, picking out random ones you thought everyone would enjoy. After looking through some more, Sam found you and walked to the front to pay. "You found quite a lot there," Sam said, peeking through the ones in your hand.
"Yeah, figured I could add a bit to my very depressing collection." you chuckled, looking at one of the sleek covers. "Don't you have like two?" you glared back at Sam. "Which I believe are both of your band's albums." Sam laughed. You both paid, bags in hand.
"So what now?" you asked Sam as you both mindlessly walked around. "Probably go home. Want me to take you back?" You nodded in agreement and headed back to his car.
-
After saying goodbye to Sam, you walked back up the stairs to your apartment. When you opened the door, Josh appeared from your room, causing you to nearly break the table in the hallway.
"What the hell Josh!" He shrugged his shoulders, making his way to the couch. "What are you doing here?"
"I was waiting until you got back from hanging out with my brother. What were you two doing anyway?" Pouring a glass of water from the sink, you took a sip, and made your way to the couch next to Josh. You leaned your head back on the cushion, staring at the ceiling. "Sam bought a pretty hefty bass, and bought more records." You looked over at Josh. "What about you?"
"Well you know," he sighed. "Tried to work on writing up some new lyrics. Even went over to Danny's and Jake's to work some stuff out. It's coming along nicely." Setting the cup down on the coffee table, you looped an arm around Josh's, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Good. It'll come out beautifully in the end," you said patting his hand. You sniffed, sitting up in your seat. "Are you staying for dinner?" Josh hummed looking up at you. "Oh yeah. I was actually wondering if I could stay for the night; get's kind of lonely at my place." You nodded.
"Yeah, that's fine." You walked over to the kitchen. "Anything in mind you want to eat?" you asked. "Uh, how about that chicken. The one you make with the rice, mushrooms, and asparagus." You started to pull out the pots and pans, placing them on the stove. You leaned back on the counter watching everything cook. To be quite frank, you didn't know how you would handle Josh staying over. Of course, you and Josh were rather close, it even shocked people that you knew each other so well. After all, he knew you better than your own blood.
Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. On one hand, it would give you time to think some things over and ponder the questions Sam had asked you earlier today. And then you could for sure decide what you wanted to do. You grabbed some plates and moved the food over to the table. Josh was already seated, patiently awaiting your arrival.
"Looks good, as always." he complimented, raising his hands towards you. "Thanks, Josh." you smiled.
"So," he said, chewing his food. "What happened at the music store?" Rolling your eyes at the thought of Sam annoying you, you told him about how he was flirting with the girl at the front desk. "I mean just giggling, and laughing, it was like watching teenagers make out." You made a small coughing noise thinking about Sam flirting with that poor girl. "But, you know, as they say, there's someone for everyone," you said sarcastically, shaking your head. Josh let out a high-pitched laugh at Sam. "That's Sam for you. He bore you with anything else?"
You thought about all the moments were Sam had bullied you over liking Josh or falling in love with Josh. Of course, you loved Josh but you weren't sure whether you were 'in love' with him per se. He was practically your other half. Nobody else could compare to that. But it was hard to decipher whether you even liked him like that. "You know. The usual; stuff about when you all were younger and more embarrassing moments."
Josh covered his face with his hands, groaning. "I hope it wasn't all too bad." He shook his head, eating the last bits of food. "Not at all, actually." As you both finished your plates, you sat in comfortable silence. That was until Josh spoke out about something.
"Hey remember that time- ugh geez, when was it," he asked, pressing on his face. "Probably around the time I first met you, and I pretty much knew then you hated my fucking guts, man" You let out a breath at the thought of Josh thinking you hated him. "But that was also the time I kept catching you listening to the album at the time. Just over and over and over again." Josh just shook his head thinking of you. "I didn't- hate you," you confessed. "I just really didn't know how to be around people so much. I did like that album though." you laughed, pointing at Josh. Who also laughed along with you. "Look, I'm sorry I made you feel that way; I just, I've never really had close friends like you." Before he could say anything back, you picked up the plates, placing them in the sink.
From inside the kitchen, you could hear him talking to his brothers on the phone. The usual screaming, laughing, and anger from whatever stupid joke someone told. It honestly made you wish you were closer to your own sister. Whom you haven't spoken to in the past ten years. After you finished off with the dishes, you walked to your bedroom. Which was hard to admit, but you had an entire wall full of Greta Van Fleet photos from when you first started working with them because you had a hard time telling who was who.
"Oh, I remember these photos!" Josh exclaimed as walked into your room. He marveled at all the photos you had printed out and plastered on the wall. Some even had labels of all the boy's names. "Yeah, a little creepy, don't you think?"
Josh shrugged. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because you didn't know who we were, and I know some people have a hard time differentiating between us twins." You turned around and opened up the bag full of record vinyl, handing some to Josh. "Here, I bought some for you earlier, and I figured I could use some- given the only two I have are from your band." He giggled, flipping through the different albums. "Oh, Bob Dylan! What a legend and old Michael Jackson! Very good stuff." You patted his shoulder as you put away all the other albums on a shelf.
"So, the spare bedroom should be good-" Josh cut you off. "I was hoping to sleep with you, actually. Unless that makes you too uncomfortable." You nearly choked on your own spit when Josh asked you that. You really didn't think he'd be that lonely. "Um, no that's fine. I'm sure I have someone's clothes here you can use." He grinned.
"Thanks." You handed him some spare clothes and left him to change in the bathroom. When you returned he was already tucked in, facing the wall with the pictures. Turning off the light, you quietly slid in next to him. You'd never really been in this much of an intimate situation, no less next to Josh. It wasn't awkward, but it was just hard to decipher the feelings of the both of you, and where he was going with his suggestion. "Can I ask you something?" Josh whispered. He turned around to face you closer.
"What was your initial thought when you first met me?" You laughed a little to yourself. "When I first met you I wanted to be exactly like you." Josh propped himself up on his elbow, leaning even closer to you.
"What about me?" he asked. "I don't know. You were always so confident, and the way you carried yourself; just, it made me so mad and angry that I couldn't be like that. Maybe that's why it came off that I hated you a little bit." Josh laid back down.
"Listen, you'll always be the best thing that happened to me. When I first met you, I thought you had the most brilliant mind out of everyone I ever met. Except for Danny. He's got an excellent brain." You smacked his arm laughing out loud.
"Thank you, Josh." You rolled over onto your side, hoping to fall asleep soon. Before you did though, you felt Josh slip an arm around your side; his face falling into the back of your neck. Soon, both of you fell asleep together.
-
When morning came the next day, Josh was still entangled in your back, but this time his arm was hugging you tighter. At any slight movement, he just pulled you closer. Finally giving up from moving away from Josh, you laid there silently in his arms. You silently traced the creases in his hand, thinking absentmindedly. He stirred a tiny bit but never woke. You took this time to turn around and look at him. His arm still wrapped around tightly on your shoulder; causing you to bury your face into his chest.
Inhaling his warm scent, you just about closed your eyes imagining a world where you were in love with him, and he loved you back. At this moment, he started to finally wake up. You decided to keep your eyes closed, too embarrassed to see what his reaction would be to find you both like this. You could feel Josh's eyes looking around the room before they made their way down to you. Feeling the certainty of him staring down at you made you panic a little. But then you could feel his hand start to part through your hair, moving it out of your face. His movement followed by leaning forward, giving you a long slow kiss on the forehead.
Then there was the fine sensation of his lips lingering on your skin. He started whispering your name, shaking you awake. You slowly blinked your eyes to make it look like you hadn't really been awake all this time. He smiled brightly when you both made eye contact. "Good morning," he said softly. You smiled, placing a hand on his chest. "Good morning Josh."
Letting out a little yawn, you turned over and sat up on the side of the bed. You sipped on some water that had been on you bedside for a while, then stretched out. "What do you plan on doing today?" you asked groggily. "Everyone wanted to meet up today and go over some stuff. Wanna join?" you quickly nodded your head.
"Great. Well then, I'll go take a shower and get ready." He walked away silently, leaving you all alone once more. Deciding against the better of things, you too got up to shower. While waiting for the water to heat up, you traced against the spots where Josh's hand had been.
It's like there was a space left on you, but you could only feel the invisible touch leftover from him. Jumping in the shower felt like you were committing a terrible sin. The handprint of Josh washed away as every drop of water hit your body. But it felt just as warm and comforting as him. After quickly getting dressed, you met Josh at the front door who was holding it open for you. The crisp autumn air surprised you in the face when you walked outside. The sidewalks weren't too busy but crowded to perfection
You both got in the car and drove to the studio. Everyone was already there by the time you two made it; For some reason, Josh had wanted to stop to get everyone coffee and a bagel, which you really couldn't say no to. Sam raised his eyebrows at you when you walked in with Josh pretty late. You hit him on the arm lightly. Sam rubbed the part of his arm, cursing you off. Everyone, including you, walked into a backroom set with all the instruments anyone could think of, and two very well-loved on couches.
The lights in the room were set to a dim, vintage-style brown, illuminating everyone's tan features. Josh handed the food out, starting the conversation. It varied from topic to topic.
"How is everyone?"
"Are there new ideas anyone wants to talk about?"
"How about we do this instead of that."
Josh snapped his fingers in front of your face, waving his hand around. "Hey silly, I asked you a question." you looked up quickly, meeting everyone's gaze. "Huh?"
"I said do you have any ideas on what we should wear?" You pulled out a small sketchbook from your jacket pocket showing Josh, and the rest of the band on the different aesthetics for clothing. "I was thinking about stitching some nudity art on the back for Josh. I'll probably go shopping for some silk and thread. I found this really cool jacket piece for Jake; I'll add some things on it, and a shiny blazer for Sam. As for Danny, I found these really nice pants, but I have to tailor them. I'm still trying to find a smooth shirt to go with."
You wrote down some reminder notes giving the rest some time to process anything and get started. Josh sat next to you on one of the couches, pulling out his note journal. He pointed out some of the lyrics, whispering to himself before showing it to you. "I came up with these this morning." your cheeks turned red, though you doubt Josh could see given how dark it was. You read through the lines in each glorious manner. They each had a delicate touch to them, written with something personal
It reminded you of something ethereal. Like being in outer space, and getting to look at all the planets from afar. "What are you thinking?" Josh asked. You let out a short breath before answering. "I think it's good. Really good in fact. I can feel it's personal to you, you know."
Before he could respond, there was a line of curses causing you both to look up. Jake was yelling at himself and the guitar in his hands with a tiny string poking out from the neck of the guitar.
"This fucking piece of shit keeps breaking," he he groaned, with gritted teeth. Rolling your eyes, you went to the other grabbing some new guitar strings. Handing them back Jake, he mumbled out a thank you. "Guess what, it's not that hard to get up and get new strings, Jake. I just did it by myself." Everyone laughed at your taunting to Jake, getting rid of his frustrated mood.
"Well, you're the best." He poked your shoulder. You headed back to another room to think about some more things. Possibly about Josh; but the majority for the band. Really working with them, never gave you time to put yourself out there. Which wasn't a terrible thing. In fact, you preferred not to out. You've always had a one-track mind. Focused too much on one thing, forgetting completely about anything else. It's probably why you'd failed out of most schools during your high school and college career. It always ended up being too much for your brain to handle.
Maybe that's what you feared most. Things always getting in the way; either making you angry, or angry enough to run away and never look back. You didn't want that with Josh. Nor did you want that for this band. You made some more scratch notes, listening to the muffled sound of music. After a while, you doodled in your notebook for some clothing ideas. Stitching had been one of the many skills that stuck with you since when. You never really knew where you learned to do such a thing.
Josh always told you how marvelous your work was. That it belonged in a museum of some sort. He knew somehow that you'd do great things with art. When sketching became boring, you shopped around online for some fabric, and thread, ordering what you needed. When finished some smaller portions of work, you fell back on the couch pushing your hair out of your face. Josh walked in at the right time, pulling you back into the studio.
"We hashed some things out, figured what don't and do want for some of the songs. Think we'll be ready to record in a few weeks." All the boys cheered each other on, pushing each other around. "I think this calls for a celebration over some drinks."
"Great idea. There's a bar a couple of blocks from here. What do you say?" Everyone hummed in agreement, piling out the door. Josh had a hand on your back as he walked you out through all the doors.
-
When you walked inside there were a few people seated around. It wasn't overbearing crazy. Everyone took a seat at the bar ordering drinks. You had already taken a couple of tequila shots to loosen up for the night. "So tell me," Josh slouched down in his seat. "What do you think the future holds for this band." You giggled, already a little drunk.
"What I think doesn't matter Josh. I think that you'll be successful in whatever you choose to do. I think it's you as the leader to help everyone along. In my opinion, they're here to support you and your ideas. I mean, of course, they have their own input but you get what I'm saying." Josh nodded along, sipping his drink. "That's quite a mouthful, but yeah. I'd do anything for these people. For Christ's sake, three of them are my brothers. And Danny I've known for like ever." He pointed to them, which they were all fighting about something.
Josh shook his head, looking down at the floor. He placed a hand on your shoulder as he left for another drink. Sam soon replaced Josh, slouching in the same position. "What were you two talking about." He waved a finger around your face. To which, you quickly swatted away. "He loves you, Sam. We love you. I love you, Sam."
Sam pursed his lips, squinting his eyes. "You're that drunk already?" You hummed looking at your watch seeing as only twenty minutes had passed. "Well Sam, the night's still young, so I'm willing to get fucking wasted if you are." He quickly nodded his head, ordering the two of you more drinks. As the night went on, all of you managed to play twelve rounds of pool (none of which you won), a game of cards, and meet totally random people. You, including the boys, were completely wasted and it wasn't even one in the morning. Danny and Jake had left to go god knows where, leaving you, Sam, and Josh talking to some random girl at a table. Looking over at Josh, you felt your heart hurt a little.
Sometimes you wish you had the assertiveness that Josh had to talk to him. Deep down you knew he would never reject you. He would randomly bring up why you never got together, but you always dismissed the conversation too scared of what might happen. Sam slipped next to you, turning his chair around to face you. He followed your line of sight, his eyes landing on Josh laughing with the same girl who's been here for hours.
"Look, if it pisses you off that much, talk to him later. It's not like he's gonna hate you for the rest of his life. He practically loves you to death." You shook your head, taking another drink of your beer. "I'm just- I'm not mad- I'll just never be able to be that person who can just randomly walk up to a person and fall 'in love' with them." You cried. Every time you think about it, you just want to go to bed and hide. "But how come I never end up with people like you or Jake or even sweet people like Danny. Why does it have to be Josh?"
Sam sat up in his chair, turning it back around to face the bar. "Why don't you try it. Maybe you fighting inside that big head of yours really doesn't like Josh after all." Sam said as he cradled your face, shaking it around. "Really?" Sam shrugged. "What's the worse that can happen? If something happens, so be it. Never hurts to try anything."
Sam bent down quickly, kissing you softly. His lips felt smooth against yours like running a hand over pliable silk. He swiftly ran a hand through your hair, pulling your face closer to his. Finally, he pulled away, smiling down at you.
"Nope." you shook your head. "Well hey, at least we know." He patted your shoulder, walking away towards a game of cards being played.
-
The next day you woke up with an intense headache. There was some leftover water and Ibuprofen on your nightstand. You didn't know how you made it back home or really remember anything at all from the night before.
You downed the pill and some water, making your way slowly to the bathroom, balancing yourself on a wall. You turned on the shower letting the hot water settle the uneasiness in your stomach. The pounding inside your head kept going on for what felt like hours. It didn't help either that you were trying so hard to remember the night before. Of course, you knew that you drank more than you could handle. Then there was Sam. But it all stopped there.
The shower helped a little bit. You danced around to find some clothes to get ready, or at least look decent. After getting ready, you drove back to Sam's. When he opened the door, you noticed Jake and Danny were there already. Except for no Josh. Not that it was out of the ordinary, it was just something you expected.
You made your way through his kitchen, pulling out a cigarette. "I don't think you really wanna be smoking that right now." You glared at him before putting the smoke out. "Um, do you remember what happened last night?" You asked, rubbing the small spot on your head in hopes to get rid of the pain. Sam bit into a piece of food, answering with his mouth full. "We kissed. Yeah," he nodded in assurance. "Yeah, we kissed." You let your head fall into your hands, groaning.
"How'd I get home?" Sam hummed, pointing his piece of food at you. "Josh. Although, he seemed pretty pissed at me. You were also super drunk." Right, you thought. Of course, this would happen to you. Partially you blamed yourself for being so stuck-up and bitchy most of the time, but part of you wishes Sam just pushed you away. Why were you so indecisive all the damn time? For once, it would be nice if you could make a whole-hearted decision without going out and fucking everything up.
You scratched around your eye, watching Sam as he went to go sit next to Jake.
4 weeks later. . .
It really had been almost a whole month that you had gone without talking to Josh. Some nights you wish you could pick up your phone and just text him, but you know it would go unnoticed. It hurt just a little bit. Every day you blamed yourself for screwing things up. When was it not your fault that something went wrong?
You sat bored at home. You tried to catch up on different things like laundry, cleaning, reorganizing literally everything, but nothing seemed to work. You muffled curses under your breath at nothing. That was until you got a text from Jake saying that everyone needed your 'strong womanly brain' to work with. Over the four-week period, you hadn't really talked with the other band members except for Danny (who seriously cares for anybody and everything), and Sam who just random stuff.
You flipped through a random magazine, flipping through the pages reading about the different styles and how to flaunt them. That was until a text from Sam disturbed you saying that everyone needed you at the studio ASAP.
You ran to your door faster than ever, quickly putting on your coat and shoes. When you arrived, no one was seen at first, so you went to the back and everyone was gathered around in a large, huddled circle. Jake was the first to greet you, Sam following close behind.
"Hey! I haven't seen you in a long time." Jake towered over you, pulling you into his side. "Yeah, my mom called. Wanted me to go see her." you lied, looking at Sam, who had just turned in the other direction. "Well, I hope she's doing good. Look, I wanted to see your opinion on some things. Just general stuff, okay?" you nodded. He led you back to a table and passed some papers around, and a little CD that had pre-recorded music. Before any of you could speak though, a door creaked loudly, and out came Josh with a petite girl beside him. His smile immediately disappeared when his eyes landed on you.
The girl looked. . . nice. In other words, she looked like a pleasant enough girl Josh would pick from a crowd. She had a tan, rich skin like his. With wavy, brown hair. Unlike Josh, she had more hazel-green eyes. Everyone stood there awkwardly, looking around at each other. You scratched the top of your head, eyes facing down towards the table. Jake cleared his throat before grabbing a seat for Josh, and the girl.
And of course, to make more room they were both seated in between you and Jake, making her sit right next to you. You smiled nervously towards her as she got herself situated. For a while, you stared at the velvet walls as Jake led on the conversation. You felt a little poke on your arm and noticed she was trying to talk to you.
"Hi, I'm Logan," she whispered. The one thing you noticed about Logan was her smile. It reminded you of Josh. His naturally bright teeth could make anyone instantly happier. "Y/N," you said curtly. You weren't the one to start a conversation, but luckily she made it easy.
"So, how do you know Josh?" she asked, pointing to him. You played around with your nails, turning to look at her. "Uh, I work for him," Not 'I'm his best friend or anything. Totally just ruined the relationship I had by kissing his younger brother because I'm really in love with the man your dating' "And them too, of course." you gave a hesitant laugh, pointing to the rest of them. She bit her lip, turning to listen to the conversation, and then back to you.
"How long have you known all of them, or like worked for them I guess?"
"Around three years. This will be my fourth I think." she nodded with your answer. Finally, she turned back around to listen to what Josh was saying.
You looked back down at the disc, swirling it around on the table. This is hard, you thought. It's all you can think about. Logan's so kind towards you; not the weirdly hostile type. She's not annoying, not inconclusive about anything. Logan's perfect in her own way. She's perfect to Josh. Something you've always wanted, but you, yourself stopped you from having.
"So, uh Y/N, can you take a listen to the CD?" Jake asked you. "Yeah. It'll just be a little later though. I have to finish some other stuff." There was silence as everyone stared at you. Including Josh, who seemed to have a permanent look on you.
"I can listen; if you're busy," Logan speaking up caught you by surprise. It may have angered you a bit because that was your job, to listen. You just looked back at Sam anxiously, who shook his head at you.
"Oh, my bad," Josh said loudly. "This is my girlfriend- Logan. Who you have all met before, but not Y/N. Forgot to introduce you two." If everyone hadn't been in the room right now, you would've gotten up and hit him right across the head. Logan kindly smiled back at you. "Yeah, we were talking earlier," She said pointing to you. "Well, as I said, I can listen if you can't."
If it was anybody else, you would've said something back already. But who were you to yell at this kind, beautiful woman next to you? Though, Sam must've read you wrong since quietly grabbed your wrist. "Sure," you said, handing the CD to Logan. Sitting back in your chair, defeated, what else were you supposed to do?
-
Another lousy week passed, and you wanted to jump off a roof. It had been raining for the past few days, never letting up once. No one had really made contact with you except Danny (you secretly loved him to death), and Sam. You were pretty sure the rest had picked up on the tense atmosphere and didn't want to bother you. No doubt, you probably wouldn't want to speak with yourself either.
You shrugged off a sweater, playing with the end of your sheets. Life was so boring now without any entertainment from anyone. You eventually rolled over on your back, staring a hole into the ceiling. You went over every excuse and explanation you could give to Josh. You understood why he was mad, you figured that much. But sometimes you wish he had his smart wisdom back to understand you better.
You fell to the floor sometime later, reading something random off the shelf. You flipped through the pages mindlessly before you heard some knocking at your door. You ran quickly, opening the door to find Sam standing there with bottles of gin and tequila in his hand. Laughing quietly, you led him inside, finding some bottles for drinks.
"What brings you around?" you raised your eyebrows, pouring some tequila for you and Sam. "Josh," he cleared his throat, taking a few sips. "What about Josh?" Trying to hold your breath, made you curious as to why Josh's younger brother was so angry at him. In fact, you wanted to burst out laughing. "He's so stubborn with everything, and the way he talks about you. God- it's like- I've never seen so much hatred from him." Sam shook his head downing the rest of his drink. He poured some more in his cup and your cup.
You took Sam's hand leading him to your room. You put on Labi Siffre, an old, classic album. You also turned on one of your dim colored lights. They lit up Sam's cheekbones perfectly, making his pale skin glow flawlessly. It looked smooth enough to run a finger over and feel the gentle, velvety skin of Sam.
"How does he talk about me?" Sam closed his eyes, thinking. "He just doesn't let go of the subject. Anytime you or I come up, it's just this rage of fury from him. He almost shuts down essentially. You know," he burped. "They all went out tonight."
You hummed at that. "They all went out, leaving behind you and me." You scoffed at the thought of Josh with Logan at your favorite bar or restaurant. "I'm so sorry Sam." You rubbed his arm, looking down at the floor next to your bed. "That was you and your brother's relationship, and I just," you flicked your hands, making a whoosh sound. Sam laughed, leaning into your side. "Don't worry about it. I like helping you out. Josh can be a little much sometimes."
You elbowed him in the side thinking about something. "Hey whatever happened to the girl from the music shop? You ever talk to her lately?"
"Yeah," he huffed out. "We've been talking lately. She wants to meet up sometime soon, but I don't know." You cocked your head to the side. "Why not. You clearly like her and she really likes you. I don't remember when the last time some actually liked you." Sam pretended he was hurt, pushing you to the side. "I'll ask her sometime when I'm not busy. She's nice."
"And pretty?" you questioned. Sam let out a laugh, swirling the alcohol in his cup. "Very pretty." You both let out sighs sitting in comfortable silence. Although, your mind was occupied with thoughts of Josh, swirling around and never-ending. There were times you just wanted to get up and say fuck it and try to at least explain. But of course, the rejection of him never wanting to be your friend again would kill you. Maybe this was the universe's cruel way of saying you and Josh were never meant to be together in the first place.
If so, you hated it.
-
Surprisingly, Sam was the first to wake up. Which rarely happens considering how well you knew him. The poor boy slept through everything. He started shaking you awake, poking and tickling your sides. "Are you dead, jeez?" You quickly rubbed your eyes, sitting up. "Sorry, the alcohol must've really knocked me out." Sam stifled a yawn, sitting on the edge of your bed. "Well, we can do one of two things today," he noted. "We can either go to the studio and face my brother, or we can- do nothing else. That's really it. I kind of swore I would be there today."
You couldn't stay inside any longer. You decided against the greater good to tag along with Sam. Maybe you could talk with Josh, and clear the air. "Can I go with you?" Sam nodded feverishly. "Of course; that's like your job."
"It doesn't feel like it. Logan's pretty much taking over, so what's the point of me." You scoffed thinking of the mellow girl who seemed to get along with everyone. You hated to slander her, but you just wanted Josh back. You and Sam left in a rush, hastily driving to the studio. You walked inside with a cigarette dangling from your lips, smoke escaping through your nose. Sweat seeped from your palms making you excited and nervous at the same time. You felt like an outsider coming in on your job. Thinking about seeing Josh made it worse.
"Hello, Hello Y/N" Danny strutted over, hairs sticking to his forehead. He pulled you in for a tight hug, nearly suffocating you. "Hey, Daniel." you moved the hairs around his face so you could see him better. "Long time, no see, man." He laughed walking back to his seat behind the drum kit. You followed Sam to the other rooms where Jake and Josh might be hiding. Sure enough, Josh was standing next to his twin, listening to a riff he was playing. They immediately stopped talking to each other. Josh scoffed at you as Sam led you inside, beside him.
"Look what the cat dragged in!" Josh said it lowly, spitting it towards you. Your eyes looked down, not daring to ever lookup. "Hey Josh," Sam patted him on the shoulder. You looked awkwardly around the room looking for a means to escape. When you realized there wasn't one, you looked back at Josh. He quietly talked to Jake about something before turning to you. You tried to look away fast enough, but his eyes caught yours. Josh started to stalk close to you, exhaling a breath. "Hey," you thought he might've not heard you, but his response caught you off guard.
"Hey, Y/N" He sniffled a little bit before turning towards you. "Care to take a walk with me? Could use some fresh air." You nodded your head silently, following after him. If your anxiety hadn't kicked in yet, it sure as hell did now. Josh was never a person to scare you. He was too light and giddy for him to be somewhat freighting.
He walked slightly behind you with a hand on the small of your back. Josh eventually let go of you when you both made it to the sidewalk. The people around you made the silence slightly more comfortable but you wished you had something to think about other than Josh. After a few more moments of silence, you decided to speak up, but Josh beat you to it. "I'm sorry for being an ass," he cleared it all out on one breath. You scoffed at him. "I think you were being more than an ass, Josh." He suddenly slowed his walking to match your pace.
"You pretty much left me in the wind. I thought I lost my best friend," you nudged him softly in the ribcage, laughing. He held a hand over his chest, heaving out a relieved breath. "I thought you were going to hate me forever." You pointed at him before saying: "Pull anything like that again, and I'll do more than just hate you forever."
Josh held his hands up abruptly like you had caught him stealing something. "I promise." You smirked. The both of you walked around endlessly making small talk here and there. Part of you was glad that you and Josh had cleared the air. Although, you hadn't really talked with him about Sam. It embarrassed you just thinking about the whole situation.
After you made a full round of the streets, Josh walked you back inside the studio. It was hours before anyone ever got to go home. The moon had fully risen and was shining brightly in the sky. You stared up like a child, holding on tightly to your coat. When you were making your way towards Sam's car Josh had grabbed you by the elbow.
"Y/N," Josh fiddled around with the collar of his jacket, looking down at the concrete. Even though it was pitch black outside, you could tell Josh's face was heating up. "I was wondering if you wanted to come back with me? I know Sam was taking you home, but I still feel like we need to talk." A small smile started to quickly form. You nodded not thinking about the harm that could come from staying with Josh.
"Yeah, sure." you let a hesitant sigh before following him once more. When you arrived inside Josh's home it felt almost foreign. There were slightly disheveled things around, but nothing had really changed. It still had all the same scattered records on the coffee table as well as random books set around the countertops. Josh flipped on the light switch and went towards the kitchen. He came back out and handed you a cup of water before taking off his coat.
"I know, it's been a long time since we spoke," he started. "or even hung out together."
You nodded, sipping some of the water. "Yeah, I kind of missed that."
-
After you and Josh got situated, he led you back to his room. There was a dim lamp, along with some new fairy lights scattered around the ceiling. "Fairy lights?" You pointed to the little bulbs sparkling brightly. "Oh, yeah," Josh was picking out a record, finally placing it on the player. It was an album you hadn't heard before, but it seemed to fit the mood well enough. Looking around for a little bit longer you come to find some old pictures on the floor. Squatting down, you noticed they were photos of his brothers and Daniel when they were younger. But what really caught your attention was a stack neatly dedicated to you.
Some of the photos had showcased some of you and Josh's late adventures, and the concerts you had appeared to. One in particular in which Josh had his arms wrapped around your middle, seated around a bonfire. That was a night you remember very clearly. That was when you realized how much you loved Josh. He never left your side and coddled you close to him. The memory warmed your heart making it beat a tiny bit faster.
"That was a very hot summer night if I remember correctly." Josh peered over your shoulder, studying the picture. "Yeah, it was. Then I passed out inside the van right after that," you laughed loudly, tossing your head back. Running a finger over your face in the picture still reminiscing on the sweet memory, you could feel Josh watching you from across the room.
"Can you come up here for a sec?" Josh patted his mattress, motioning to you. You could tell he was nervous still when he started to fumble around with his nails, not making much eye contact. "Do you remember when I asked you why you envied me so much?" He let out a slow breath, nudging you a little bit with his elbow. You realized the change in the situation and started to mirror his nervous tics.
"Yeah, I just- wish I could carry myself like you. You're always the most confident person in the room; you know things Josh that no one could ever know." The two of you sat in silence for a little bit after you answered. Josh hesitated before speaking again but continued on after pondering for a bit. "Well, I never felt that way around you. For the longest time, I would beat myself up just thinking about how wonderful you are Y/N. The way you think of me is how I always thought of you. Just not as confident because of how quiet you are sometimes." He laughed out the last part making you smile back.
"God, sometimes I just want to cry because of how amazing you are Y/N. Everything you've done for this band, everything you've done for me; I just - I love you." You slowly turned your head to look at Josh, replaying the words over and over again in your head.
He loves you.
"I'm going to assume you mean in it in that way Josh or this would be very embarrassing." Josh snickered, putting both hands on the side of your face. "I mean it in every way possible." He finally pressed his lips to yours, feeling the velvet touch of each other. Josh ran his fingers through your hair, pressing his tongue in an open-mouthed kiss. You moaned quietly when he started to press kisses along your jaw, down to your neck. You could feel his hands start to travel down to your waist, hugging you tightly as it showed in the picture.
Josh continued to bite down on your skin and sucked, leaving bright red marks behind. His fingers squeezed down on your hips before traveling under your shirt. He placed a knee between your legs, pushing you further into the mattress. You looked at each other momentarily as Josh slipped you out of your shirt. He ran his hands over your stomach making you flinch at the sudden touch.
"Josh," His name came out as a whine as Josh slipped off your bra, throwing it towards the floor. You caught the look of awe when his eyes landed on your breasts, your chest heaving slightly. He returned to kissing down your neck making his way down your collar bone. Your hands made their way to his hair, tugging at it when his mouth made contact with your nipple.
He sucked gently, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. All you could think about was the euphoric thoughts running through your brain. All you could see were stars, showing up in random directions making you lost in the feeling. Josh continued for a while before slowly traveling down to your legs.
Josh looked at you for approval, to which you vaguely nodded in return, before pulling off your pants. You shuddered at the delicate touch of his fingers ghosting along your skin. His hands traveled back up your calves, pressing at your thighs. The room suddenly became too hot as his fingers wrapped around the strap of your underwear, pulling them down your legs. Your breathing was so ragged by now that you thought Josh might've pointed it out already, but he continued to stare down at you with the most mesmerizing look in his eyes. You knew at this point if this had been anyone else, you probably would've wanted to hide under the bed. Something so comforting about Josh made it feel natural to in his grasps.
Josh started down at your ankles, pressing hard kisses up your legs. He hovered over your pelvis just before kissing around your clit. Your legs immediately started to close at the feeling, but his hand pushed them back farther. "Josh, oh my god!" You moaned out into nothing. He continued sucking hard on your clit making the stars in your head come closer to earth.
"Josh, please," Your hands pulled at his curls as he lapped around your center. "You're so fucking wet for me Y/N. Jesus," He moaned into your heat making you squirm on the bed.
"Please Josh, use your fingers, please." You whined mercilessly at the thought of coming around his fingers. It wasn't long before you felt two fingers drag inside of you, along with the feeling of him sucking your clit. You could feel yourself getting nearer to your orgasm as he curled his fingers against your g-spot. "Josh, don't fucking stop!"
At the perfect moment, everything seemed to fall apart in the most beautiful way. You leaned your head back into the pillow as your vision turned white with little black dots appearing randomly. Josh's breath fanned over your heat before he stood up to take off some of his clothes.
"Can't really have sex if I'm still dressed like I'm going to fucking prom or something, Jesus." You giggled loudly while you watched him crawl back over you. Josh pressed a soft kiss to your lips, grinding his hips against you. Your hand slowly ran over his chest, grabbing onto his belt. You fumbled around until you managed to get it undone along with his pants. Josh stared at your face, admiring your features. "I don't think I'll be able to take you seriously for much longer if you don't do something," you whispered.
"Oh yeah?" Josh raised an eyebrow, smiling at you. You slowly reached past his briefs making contact with his hard-on, causing him to moan quietly and start kissing you again.
"Uh, I don't think I have any condoms on me; I didn't really envision fucking you tonight." You smirked, wrapping your arms around his neck. "It's okay. I'm on the pill." You pulled his underwear down, hiking your legs around his hips loosely. You could feel yourself getting wetter as he passively rolled his forefinger over your clit. You kissed him hard, sucking on his tongue. "Fuck me, please," you begged. Josh looked deeply into your eyes, then grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his hips, tightly. He teased you, rubbing himself up and down your center.
You exhaled as he entered you, wrapping a hand around his bicep to steady yourself. Josh's head fell into your neck, feeling his warm breath as he trusted in slowly. He lifted his head to kiss you; He used his hand to move the hairs out of your face, wrapping it around your cranium. "You are so- prepossessing." He whispered, his thrust becoming faster.
Your nails dug into his shoulder blades after he set such a brutal pace that you didn't think you'd be able to keep up with. You took note of how his curls stuck to his forehead. Whenever he thrust in, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer. His thrust started to shake the bed only spurring you on more. Your hands grabbed at his torso, holding onto him tightly.
"Josh," you breathed out, words lost as they left your mouth. "Don't stop." Josh looked between your bodies as they pressed together. He thrust in deep, pressing you into the bed further. You cursed under your breath, trying to hold back the moans only releasing small high-pitched whines. Your head fell back against the pillow, all the tension releasing your body slowly. "Fuck," Josh moaned into your collarbone. He tightened his grip on your thigh, quickening his thrusts.
You ran your fingers along the nape of his neck, feeling the little hairs stick to his body. Josh moaned, feeling him cum deep inside you. His head fell into your neck as you both tried to catch your breath. Josh smiled, pressing kisses to your chest before laying down next to you.
"Fuck you're amazing," Josh mumbled into your ear. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling your head to his chest. His hands ran down your arm, squeezing the tiny bit of flesh. "Tell me something I don't already know Joshua." You flipped over onto your side, Josh following in pursuit. He tightened his arm once more around your stomach this time. He pressed small kisses along your shoulder, laying his face into your hair.
"I love you," He mumbled.
"I love you too." You placed your hand over his, peace finding you easy tonight.
-
When you woke up the next morning, Josh still had you in his arms, snoring softly. Like you, he liked to get up when it was still dark out, but given last night you couldn't blame either of yourselves for wanting to sleep in. Josh woke up sometime after, pressing small kisses into the nape of your neck down to your shoulder blades.
"Good morning," he said quietly, wrapping his legs around yours, pulling his body closer to yours.
"Morning Josh." You closed your eyes allowing the quiet of the room to comfort you. It seemed pretty peaceful outside, from what you could hear at least. But your mind was running a thousand miles a minute. How did a three-year friendship change so drastically? If someone told you that three years later you'd be sleeping with Josh, you probably start cursing them out at the bare minimum. Josh infuriated you at the beginning, but what changed that you couldn't get enough? Maybe it was his style? Everyone loves Josh's style. He doesn't really care what goes together, as long as it fits him and his outrageous personality. Speaking of which, Josh's personality was unspoken of. People turned heads when he walked through doors because he was always the life of the party. Normal people just naturally gravitate towards him. Heck, you couldn't even keep up the 'holding a grudge' façade for too long because Josh helped you. Maybe you thanked him for that instead.
"I think we need to get up," you said, patting his hand. He protested that you two keep sleeping longer because it's too early. "Josh it's like," you squinted your eyes towards the clock. "Nine am." You yelled, pushing his arm of you.
You ran into the bathroom to pee before jumping in the shower. After taking some time cleaning yourself and changing into something more comfortable (which ended up being one of Josh's old college sweatshirts because he insisted you looked really good in them) you both left to the studio. Of course, the first one to greet you was your favorite out of the four, Daniel. After he finished talking with Josh, he led the both of you to a back room. It was a large decorated room that you hadn't really been in much. The walls were in stripes of inverted red along with carpet having a velvet touch to it. Plaques labeled the wall with other types of scandalous music art.
Jake and Sam walked in together already arguing about something. "Lookey here," Jake pulled you into a side hug, and Sam passed you a drink. "I thought my smoking habits were bad, but drinking at ten in the morning?" you tutted Sam away from you, taking a seat at a large table. "It helps me think more clearly."
Josh took a seat next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. "Hey, you never showed me the finish drawing for your clothing ideas." You raised your eyebrows and said: "I wonder why." You cocked your head to the side, and Josh frowned at you. Snickering to yourself, you handed him a sketchbook. "These are- really good, Y/N. I forgot you could draw so well." You doodled around the paper of a sketched-out Josh in what would be fashion attire for next year. "One of my many hobbies."
He patted your leg before turning his attention to his twin. Sam waltzed over to your side, a cigarette hanging from his lips. "Is that my brother's sweatshirt?" You glared at him before answering a subtle yes. Sam gasped in a fake manner, holding a hand across his heart.
"Are you two in love with each other finally?" Sam laughed at you giving him a side-eye. "Good. you make Josh happy." Content with that, he left to go sit next to Danny. You played around with the drawing some more, later on, moving to a computer to work there. Everyone left you alone to go play in another room which seems to help numb the background noise. Though, it didn't last long until Josh walked through the door. He strutted over to you, rubbing a hand on your back before sitting down.
"How's it goin' in there?" You closed the laptop, turning your attention towards him. Josh talked about how everything's coming along nicely, and Jake is stubborn about everything or how Sam is always messing up. You hummed, following along. Not that you would ever tell Josh, but sometimes you never would really listen to what he was saying, but you loved to watch his hand movements or the expressions on his face. It added to his character. "I meant to ask you some time ago, but uh- whatever happened to Logan?" Josh immediately froze, looking down to the floor like a scolded puppy.
"I told her I would talk to her later this week." You shook your head, crossing your arms. "What?"
"Nothing; I was just thinking we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me oodling with your brother." Josh laughed at your choice of words, placing his hand softly on yours. "I think it was both us Y/N."
'Well, in my defense Sam is kind of hot now that I think about it." Josh slapped your shoulder. "Mmmm, you're right Sam does have that 'sense' to him." Time seemed to fly by the five of you, constantly arguing, laughing, or just goofing off with each other. It felt good to be back with everybody, and not walking around on eggshells. Sometimes the moment was so pleasant, you never wanted it to end.
-
It was eerily quiet when you walked inside Josh's home. It was nighttime, and the moon was full, shining brightly through the curtains. "Don't you ever wish you could see the stars?" Josh asked randomly.
"Light pollution man," He mumbled out, yeah, heading towards his bedroom. You peeked outside the window one more time, catching a glimpse of the clouds in the sky. Josh had changed into some comfier clothing and slid under the covers. You followed in pursuit, still wearing his old college t-shirt. "Where do you think we'll be in ten years?" The question had taken you by surprise. You knew he had a tendency to think a lot about the future, which was kind of admirable, but you had a hard time figuring out what the future would hold for you.
"That's hard to tell; Not unless I kill you first, but uh, I think we'll still be together, and so will the band. I guess it's just up to the rest of us." Josh hummed at your input. He flipped over on his side to look at you. "I hope we're together forever." Your face started to blush, although you doubt Josh could see, this time you wished he did.
"Me too." Your voice came out with full confidence knowing every ounce of you could never let him go. "Hey, do you think you'd ever let me wear your outfits after this next tour? They're kind of stylish if I say so myself." Josh laughed out loud. "I don't think they'd fit you, honey." You scoffed, pouting.
"Josh, I hate to break it to you but you're not that big." A playful laugh escaped your mouth while you pinched his arm. He pushed you back in return. "I meant your height." He shook his head. You turned around, allowing Josh to trap you in his arms.
"I hope I get to see you in heaven. If there is one." The sound of his voice made you want to cry. It was soft whisper that it felt so delicate at this moment.
"I think if you've seen me then, you will see me forever."
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jess-the-vampire · 5 years ago
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I think you are half right, Tom was an important character but it wasn't as important as you make it sound (I think it would be more appropriate to say he was a relevant character but never an important one) and Tom did get his happy ending (obviously is not something that is shown but we see him being ok and happy afterwards) maybe it would have been cool seeing a scene where we see how the characters are doing and we see him having fun, but in all honestly Tom was treated fine. (1/2)
The way I see it, Tom arc ended when he finally grew up from his past self. From the ex boyfriend jerk who just wanted Star back no matter the cost to a person who finally was able to let go of his somewhat fixation on Star and being happy with that decision. After all that how Tom was introduced. He wasn’t introduced as a loner, he wasn’t introduced as a insecure person, he was introduced as a scumbag and at the end we see him being the opposite of that person thus completing his arc (2/2)
yep, had a feeling it was you.
Dude, trying to argue this is a lost cause, you have not given me a single reason to believe otherwise about this matter.
You still keep trying to say it’s because “Tom’s not important”, when that excuse is not relevant.
Even characters who have been outta the loop for seasons, like jackie, got some kind of sendoff and goodbye with the characters they were closest with.
If jackie , alfonso and Ferguson could get some kinda closure, then there’s no excuse for tom not to.
not to mention he was such a big character to the community and crew, there is no excuse whatsoever no matter how you slice it he got that kinda ending.
they may not be great sendoffs, but at least they felt like a sendoff that fit with the characters they were close to.
and again, tom’s happiness exists because the show needs to wrap and they can’t  have tom miserable at the end if they wanna pull of this facade that everything’s great at the end. 
it’s probably why it feels so fake, tom’s transition into being heartbroken to trying to matchmake his friends feels so unatural for a person because they have no time to make it feel natural.
the show can make him feel however they want, but it doesn’t make it a good reaction or fitting emotion.
again, as i said to you before, by that logic we should all be ok all the magical creatures are dead because STAR is ok with it.
You can’t be trying to wash over the problems because the characters aren’t allowed to act like normal people, because the less they act naturally the more problems pop up.
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and again, there’s nothing “Fine” about how tom was treated, at all. It’s genuinely hurtful to make a friend feel loathsome about themselves and inadequate, and cheat on them without so much as an apology directed towards them.
nothing about that is “Fine”
there’s nothing “Fine” about making someone feel awful about themselves and constantly brushing them to the side and ignoring them.
you keep saying it’s fine, but don’t explain why and what about any of this is supposed to be “Fine”, do you really think treating your friends this was is ok to do or is this because since tom smiled that mean nothing star and marco did was wrong somehow?
you yourself can smile away all you want, but doing so does not remove the pain and hurt you felt from others, those actions are not erased just because you pretend they aren’t a problem.
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”Tom wasn’t introduced as a loner or as being insecure”:
Hangs out with no one other then star or marco
says himself he’s never been to a marathon and invited out before
is terrible at trying to hang out with marco
shunned by all the demons at the party
 is never seen being social with anyone other then star or marco, not even at other social events in the series unless he’s required to
literally has no plans ever that don’t resonate around star or marco, anytime he’s not with them and we get to see he’s usually sitting alone in his room
 Really worries about making star happy and goes out of his way to impress her
Is scared star likes marco more then him
is afraid of his own hobbies that he doesn’t even mention his favorite band until he knows marco likes it
worries about how he dresses that he even changes clothes just to apologize to star
Is shown ashamed of his anger and goes through tougher trials to stop it and worries he’ll be an evil demon forever
i don’t think they needed to state it, how everyone reacted to tom and how tom reacted to everyone else kinda made it clear he wasn’t the most social person out there and didn’t always have the best image of himself, not to mention he clearly didn’t have constant friends he hung out with. it certainly fit with his anger issues as well.
whether or not you saw it as part of the beginning of his character or not it was most certainly apart of it as time went on and it certainly didn’t need to be at the beginning to mean he should’ve had an end that was suitable and fitting to counter all this stuff he went through.
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you make it sound like there was nothing more to tom then being angry, and that’s not true whatsoever, he had other clear problems he needed to be truly happy and those problems never reached an end.
tom got better, but guess what? He’s more insecure and despite everything with his friends they still push him away like he didn’t matter that much to them.
Tom’s a lot more complex then what you’re trying to make him out to be, all the characters on his level are (Except for pony), and trying to sum up his entire character as being “Anger issues but he gets better” takes away so many other aspects of his character.
You’re missing the point and you keep ignoring it.
Yes, tom got better, but that isn’t enough, an arc for a character and the relationships and struggles along the way need to amount to something, they need to amount to a end that ties them all up together.
tom’s anger improving is one piece of many he needed to have a satisfying character arc, but without all those pieces the end falls apart and will not work.
Your simple “He got better” thing doesn’t work for tom because he’s not a simple character, that kinda thing might work for a character as simple as brittney, but it doesn’t for the character that had other struggles and complex relationships with the main characters.
If you can’t wrap up all those pieces and relationships in a satisfying way then it’s never going to work.
This is how character arcs work, if you’re going to argue about how character arcs are supposed to work i suggest doing some research and looking into what makes an arc feel satisfying because this entire silly argument makes me feel like you don’t get what makes arcs satisfying because you keep saying everyone is wrong for having this problem because you claim all this stuff isn’t important.
These things are important, to a character arc
it’s when they tie up most if not all the loose ends surrounding the character and all their relationships that are important come into play.
And they clearly didn’t with tom, though he’s one example of a few in this show.
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